Tooth Fairy Form Letter
Here's another gem from the late 90's that did the rounds. Haven't seen it since, and I thought I'd lost this one too - turned out to be on the same drive I thought was empty that turned up the flying instructions for the F18!! Anyway, now that I have children of my own, this letter below (click "read more") has taken on a fresh perspective.
Fill in where necessary
Dear :
Thank you for leaving [___] tooth/teeth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:
| (__) the tooth could not be found (__) it was not a human tooth (__) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny (__) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor (__) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash (__) the tooth did not originally belong to you (__) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy (__) you were age 12 or older at the time your request was received (__) the tooth is still in your mouth (__) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit (__) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing (__) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows: | |
|
Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
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