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- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to
end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
- You can't have everything, where would you put it?
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
- When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!