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- Blaming your farts on me...... not funny.. not funny at all!
- Yelling at me for barking........ I'M A DOG YOU IDIOT!
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
whose walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew
your stuff up when you're not home.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
WhooooHoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
- Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when
I freak out every time we go back!
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but
I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- Dog sweaters..... Hello?? Haven't you noticed the fur?
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the
truth, you're just jealous.